Winter is coming…


No Really.

And apparently it’s set to kill more than 26,000 people in the UK, we reveal today.

Just look at the wording of that sentence. SET TO KILL.

How sinister does that sound?

Like it’s a cyborg sent from the future hell bent on destruction that we have no chance of defeating.



Nope, not even close.

You see the three main causes of DEATH during the winter are as follows.

  • Rising energy prices
  • Shitty Pensions
  • Badly insulated houses

Surprisingly you will notice that the invasion of the white walkers has nothing to do with this latest projected death TARGET. A nation as advanced as ours should surely be able to cope with the problems highlighted above. Fuck me, how many houses could be insulated for the elderly for £400,000? That’s the same cost the government decided to spend on that fat slag Heather Frost and her brood of bastards by the way. Makes you fucking sick doesn’t it?

(at an average cost of £300 per loft insulation, they could actually do about 1300 houses for what they’re gifting this professional scrounger)

All this comes after British Gas announcing annual profits of £606,000,000!! – An increase of 11%

Good old Gritish Bass

And what about back to basics? Like oh, I don’t know, some extra fucking blankets maybe? If nothing else you have to admire the sheer level of fuckery employed by the media in their use of misleading headlines.

Prime Minister David Cameron

Prime Minister David Cameron

When questioned the Prime Minister had disappointing news regardingthe matter saying that the problem was out of his hands for the time being, “Unfortunately I will be unable to deal with the matter at the moment and I’m afraid that the weak and infirm are just going to have to toughen up a bit for the time being. I have informed the cabinet that I am not to be disturbed from March 31st until June 3rd as I will be focusing all my attention on the upcoming war in Westeros. Until then I’m afraid the good people of Britain will have to sit it out without me. I’m sure you understand”

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